You Mock My Flame!

In all the years that Leslie and I had discussed cooking and cooking methods, the conversation somehow never got around to grilling — until a little over a year ago.  On that fateful mid-January evening he uttered the tragic words, “I can’t grill.”  I was, quite simply, gobsmacked.  I literally could not talk for several minutes.  In fact, so huge to me was this oversight in his culinary training that I had to rewire my brain on “how-to-breathe” again before I could somewhat calmly state, “What the feck did you say?”  Speaking partly out of fear and as if to a young child, he repeated the sentence — s-l-o-w-l-y.

The expletives that followed rivaled anything that has flown out of my mouth when watching one of my favorite sports teams play.   He could have told me that he’d bedded an entire brothel, and I would not have felt as “betrayed” as this piece of knowledge seemed to have affected me.  In “my” world ALL MEN GRILL … And they LOVE it — PERIOD.

Now THAT'S a grill! 🙂

The flimsy excuse he used about being born in the UK and being a borderline vegetarian (grilled veggies; anyone?) did not fly when presented to a few of my favorite friends also from that country.  For they, too, are grillmasters in their own right — tools and all.  THEY aren’t tools; they have tools.   (Wait … Just wait!  *oof* As a matter-of-fact, two threw down the “B.S.” card.

In true Leslie-form he wrote about my emasculating him, the Apocalypse coming due to his lack of skill set, and his taking his new Ken-like self (pearls, pumps, purse, and all) down to the pub while fire and brimstone rained down upon us all.  (Alas and alack, with no one to grill in sight.)

A year later I still have people asking me if my love has learned to grill.  And now as of last night the truth can be told.  Leslie has not learned to grill, and he has no intention to learn any time … e-v-e-r.   He’s perfectly fine with my handling this culinary function if he ever deigns to buy me a grill.  For it’s not that Leslie can’t grill; it’s that he simply (in his own words) can’t be bothered to grill.  The truth has finally been revealed!

You Mock My Flame!

12 thoughts on “You Mock My Flame!

  1. Hey Babygirl. I got your Im and followed you here. I am happy you found love, and a great partner you can share your life with, musings and dreams. I will always follow you and know how your life is doing, you being sunshine to people no matter where you go.

    Much love
    Bunzy

    • BUNZZZZZY!! Thanks, Girlfriend! (Look at the demented little icon by your name … It’s like a jacked-up rabbit. *grin*) Yeah, Leslie’s a cool dude, but you know this. Thanks so much for the encouragement, my friend. You know I’d follow you, too — anywhere, anytime. Love to you and CB … Always!

  2. Poor, poor lil Leslie…and YAY him for taking a stand. I mean really…a man can’t be PERFECT. So he has this one lil flaw to “keep it real”.

    (Of course, knowing him, eventually either his curiosity or his competitive cooking skills will get the better of him and he will HAVE to figure it out.) LOL

    • *giggle* … Oh don’t act all righteous now, Els! You were busting on him JUST as much as I was a year ago! And you know Leslie’s totally awesome in addition to being as “real” as it gets. 😛 … (And I truly do not think so. I believe we are at an impasse. *pouting sigh*)

  3. All men like fire; hence, all men grill.

    With all due deference to your love, this has got to be the result of a genetic defect. My defect manifested itself with the lack of mechanical aptitude. So he’s not alone amongst the “man skills” deficient.

    • Ketch ~ I KNOW; right??? *sad sigh* I’m okay with the lack of mechanical aptitude, possessing somewhat of a skill set in that area, myself (besides, which, Leslies excels in that area). But — not grilling??? *hissy fit*

  4. I resemble those remarks.

    Right now I am sitting back and observing the spot that you would have me put a grill and thinking what else can go there!

    BTW last night evening out at friends: Alan grilled and I drank beer, watched the meat burn on the grille and discussed football with him.

    • My Love ~ I thought about getting you some upside down tomato planters. Will those do? I wouldn’t think we’d get a grill now. *plaintive sigh* I’ll just “make do” with your many other magnificent culinary talents. (Thanks for being such a sport! 😉 )

  5. shakes head……..I can not figure out a man who can not grill. But I would say it was the smart man who drank a beer and watched others work…

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